And because of this, I’m a paranoid little mother f*cker. I don’t think I can go a week without wondering if this person thinks I’m super awkward, or if this person thinks I’m an idiot, or if this person thinks I’m immature. CALM YO SELF, MELANIE. And if they do happen to feel that way toward me, I just need to take that as criticism and move on.
I am usually comfortable with my weight, but I can’t get over how much weight I gained during finals this past semester. Its ridiculous. And now that I’m home, I’ve had a sudden craving for cheese burgers and chicken nuggets. I hated fast food! I definitely need to run more than three miles a day to counteract the saturated fattiness. I miss my salads!
I went to my first hip hop workshop… where I kind of embarrassed myself. After Mystique, I was feeling a little bit more confident in my dancing ability. Yesterday’s workshop, however, made me realize I have A LOT of work to do before I get to where I would like to be. It was really mind blowing that people can learn choreo that fast and do it so well in such a short amount of time. I almost wanted to give up dancing after yesterday because I felt so humiliated— I couldn’t even get 50% of the choreo! It was an open-level class, which means that it shouldn’t have been THAT difficult, which is even more upsetting for me.
But why give up something that makes you feel so good? Even though I felt like a fool while dancing, it was so much fun and just watching the more experienced dancers made me want to continue dancing. If anything, I’m taking more dance classes. I hope I can improve despite the fact that I started so late. If Kyle Hanagami started at 19 and got that good, so can I!